One of the biggest pitfalls on the path to a retirement transition is to aspire to “see and do” it as other people have. I am all for mentors in retirement– those whose transition models a positive and fruitful life that we would all love to have. However, as the kids say, “you Do you (or you Be you)”! Fashioning a retirement path, with activities or acquisitions that seem like a beautiful thing, may not be wonderful for you, or you and your partner in life. Also, what others think you should do, be and have in the next chapter has no foundation for what will be satisfying and fill you up. Even the closest person to you, be it family, friend or partner, cannot tell you what you should do as you start moving forward in retirement.
So, how can you pick a lifestyle, an activity or just a plan that reflects who you really are? You have to truly know yourself. That may sound cliched and very ’70s but actually after a long working life identity, some people have lost touch with their actual qualities and characteristics that are authentic to their real nature. A person who may have been an introvert but was required as CEO to be a leader and spokesperson, has adapted his or her tendency to the needs of the job. Or a solo business owner, who has worked independently and without others in her/his space, may have craved a more lively environment, filled with connection and conversation. In this new chapter, post-career, it is essential to use the transition as an opportunity to be more of the real you. If there is hesitation or apprehension of learning how you may have changed or maybe just deferred your personality to the demands of your work role, this is natural.
Many of the baby boomers facing retirement have taken a personality inventory, like the Myers Briggs (MBTI), at some point in their life. In this assessment, the tendencies of personality are rated as either/or– either introverted or extroverted, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving, and sensing or intuitive. This information, while insightful, is a subjective measure based on your responses when you took the test! It could be that as a young adult starting a new career the results might reflect someone completely different from a seasoned person at the end of a work life. There are other measures available, to describe your tendency in terms of outer and inner expectations. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Four Tendencies, describes the characteristics as Upholder, Obliger, Questioner and Rebel, and explains the basis for motivations met and needs fulfilled in each type. (You can take her short quiz at gretchenrubin.com)
Other personality assessments are more commonly available, with books or internet literature to research where you fall at this phase of your life. As a retirement coach, I can offer two retirement readiness inventories, to help you access this information and apply it to your path forward. Any of this information can be accessed and explored, prior to retirement to begin the process of discovering the real you, and what activities or choices in retirement will have a better chance of creating fulfillment and a sense of purpose. I highly recommend that when you begin the process of learning more, researching or taking inventories, you do these in a positive frame of mind, and have some sense of hope regarding your future. This will help you capture a more realistic result and assist you in knowing yourself, at this stage, better.
If you want to go further in knowing yourself better as you prepare for life in retirement, I can help! Call or email me about retirement coaching and how to make this transition the best it can be for the real you!
Flying Forward in Retirement! 