Author: flyingforwardinretirement

3-5 YEARS out:

• Have a real conversation, with your spouse, partner, close friend or someone you know who is retired, about life visions for your retirement years. Ask questions—about goals, activities, where you want to live, who you want to spend time with, and how you foresee spending your days.

• Identify those areas of interest and commit to a plan to explore these over the next 12 months. Ask yourself, what matters to me? How do I want the next chapter to go? What do I need to do to make it happen as I hope it will?

• Start incorporating life changes you are considering on a routine basis. Especially important is time spend on your health-related goals. Don’t wait until your retirement for positive habit changes.

• Hone in on purpose and legacy, being candid and deep. Where do you want to make a difference and how can you get a taste of that, right now? Also, what activities can you shed that aren’t serving you anymore?

2 YEARS out:

• Envision specifically what your days, months, and years will look like. Articulate the daily life you project and practice the routine here and there. Revisit old hobbies and passions that were meaningful and explore new activities on a weekly basis.

• Well before retirement, establish a system of regular connection for staying in touch with valued work colleagues. Routine social media outreach or even regular get togethers now will assist in keeping bonds strong after retirement.

1 YEAR out:

• Get your “house” in order—not just your physical residence, but especially the nature and environment that will facilitate the pursuit of your goals and visions in retirement. Also, assess what you don’t want to do—delegate tasks or set up some systems on autopilot for what has to be done.

• Continue to focus on your health and relationships. Those two important life components predict how “successful” your retirement transition will be.

• Plan a celebration of your career and transition to a new chapter of life. Some will emphasize the ‘end’ of their work life and others will focus on the ‘beginning’ of a new opportunity to do what they have envisioned for a long time.

IN RETIREMENT:

• Be open, flexible and interested in adapting as changes in the plan are inevitable, and often a better path is discovered once there is time available in retirement.

FINALLY:

• The shift from work life to retirement can be smoothly anticipated or a shock, with loss of benefits like identity, camaraderie, financial remuneration, time management and a sense of purpose. Just as in financial preparation for retirement, life preparation is essential to ensure the best possible transition. The value of “rehearsing the future” is priceless.

• Resources to assist in the retirement life transition process include:

Retirement Coaches Association- dedicated and certified professionals committed to help people thrive in retirement. http://retirementcoachesassociation.org

TAKEOFF! Start the Conversation about Retirement- A Guide to educate and advocate for open discussion about retirement transitions. Mary Blissard, 2019.

www.flyingforwardinretirement.com

Revitalizing Retirement- Reshaping Your Identity, Relationships, and Purpose,Nancy K. Schlossberg, EdD, APA 2009

Happy Retirement- The Psychology of Reinvention,  Kenneth S. Schultz, PhD, 2015

The Retirement Challenge- A Non-Financial Guide from Top Retirement Experts-Retirement Coaches Association, 2018

How to Retire Happy, Wild and Free, E. J. Zelinski, Visions International Publishing, 2015

Last week the death of Jack Bogle, founder of Vanguard Funds and father of the modern investment theory regarding index funds, was announced. His philosophy on investing was widely regarded as industry-changing– imagining that reasonable fees, little or none, would mean more money growing in your account! But in 2009 he published a book called Enough: True Measures of Money, Business and Life.  This idea of considering and appreciating how much is enough is as revolutionary as his investment strategy was, but it wasn’t or isn’t  easily embraced in our American culture.

I recently had a 777 Captain jumpseating to work on my plane from Miami, and he was headed to Singapore the next day. A pleasant, happy and fit pilot, I was surprised when he told me he had 6 months until retirement meaning he was 64 1/2 years old. I asked him how he felt about retirement, was he looking forward to it? And his response reflected his good-nature. He said that as a 727 second officer 40 years ago, a captain said there are two questions you have to ask yourself about retirement: Have you had enough? and Do you have enough?

Those are pretty pointed questions and still exactly right on for our times. My 777 Captain said his answer was yes to both questions, as a matter of fact, he couldn’t have asked for more in terms of experiences, rewards, his colleagues, and a career he loved. He also said knowing the two questions and his answers clearly allowed him to appreciate and revel in the last few years of work.

Amazing! Often for pilots the retirement sneaks up on them, and there is either a push to the end or a slow psychological separation from the job they’ve worked at and identified with for so long. In my experience with impending retirees, I’ve seen and heard angst, regret, fear and a deep melancholy over the loss of the past and little or no vision for the future.

So I’m asking everyone I know to reflect on these 2 questions–Have I had enough–enough of those experiences, places and people I enjoy, and can I make the most of this time until retirement? And do I have enough–not only financial resources but also the life resources you need to thrive in retirement–good health, great personal relationships and a vision of what you’ll do with your time and energy towards your purpose in life, post-career?

A fantastic resource is the book, The Retirement Challenge,  a compilation of articles on all these topics and more, to help you figure out the best retirement transition possible. It’s available on Amazon in ebook or hard copy, and the first 10 people who reach out to me will get the link to the ebook version. Start figuring out what is your enough today!

It’s a New Year, so many are looking at their future again, with fresh eyes! As you know, there are many specific steps that financial planners urge their clients to address prior to retirement–final push in contributions to retirement accounts, an honest address of the projected budget, how to optimize taxes and distribution of retirement monies, as well as considerations for health care options and Social Security strategies. There is always little or no emphasis of the steps you might address in the LIFE planning of your next chapter. Here are some steps you can take in the five years before retirement, but these can be addressed and executed any time. The sooner you start thinking of your life path, goals and dreams, the easier and smoother the transition will be!

YEAR 5 –Start with a real conversation –with your spouse, partner, a friend, or someone you know who is retired. Ask questions- about goals, activities, where you want to live, who you want to spend time with, and what might you do over the next 12 months to explore your interests. This works well to carve out individual moments of reflection, maybe over coffee or on a quiet Sunday afternoon once a month, asking What matters to me? How do I want the next chapter to go?

YEAR 4 – Begin incorporating life changes– activities, social life, and interests you are considering on a routine basis. Maybe a hike, a class or time spent researching or immersing in a location you’d like to visit or live. Critical to this time spent are your health related goals. Don’t wait until you retire to address positive habit changes.

YEAR 3 – Hone in on purpose and legacy. Where do you want to make a difference and how can you get some of that in your life and busy schedule,  right now? At the same time, think of what you can shed that isn’t serving you anymore. This is a good time to be candid and deep.

YEAR 2 – Envision, specifically, what your days, months and years will look like. Start articulating the daily life and if possible practice it here and there. As a career winds down activities usually hasten the pace of daily life, but there is a huge benefit from having a vision of your days. An example is going to Coffee & Cars on Saturdays–do you like it? Is it what you thought it would be? Is it the social outlet you need or the interest or both? Revisit old hobbies and passions that were meaningful, and explore new activities on a weekly basis.

YEAR 1- Line up your accoutrements with the vision you aspire to–honey-do lists aren’t just for retirement day 1! Make your surroundings facilitate your pursuits. If you don’t want to participate, set up some systems on autopilot for what has to be done,  then carve out some flow for yourself.

All is easier said than done–why should I do it now when time is a premium, and in retirement I’ll having nothing but time?? The shift from work life to retirement can be smoothly anticipated or a shock, with loss of benefits like identity, camaraderie, financial remuneration, time management and a sense of purpose. Just as in financial preparation for retirement, life preparation is essential to ensure the best possible transition. The value of “rehearsing the future” is priceless.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I’ve alluded to the time-space phenomenon, where in retirement faced with unending time (or at least more than there ever was during the working years), there is an urgency or impetus to fill that time so it provides a feeling of both accomplishment and meaning. To high functioning individuals, many of whom worked long hours and/or intense days and periods of demands of their jobs, this seems ideal! Endless stretches of minutes, hours, days and maybe even weeks to do whatever your heart desires, not on anyone else’s timetable- imagine!

At first, transitioning to retirement appears to be like the longest vacation of your life–motorcycle trips, RV across America, months in Tuscany or endless happy rounds of golf. This looks like the chance to truly operate in a flow kind of way, and immediately this type of lifestyle is considered a much deserved and well needed respite from the life left behind at work.

However, even with fantastic flow, for most people coming off a career of requirements that existed in a calendar or daily agenda, the loss of the structure of your days can be quite discombobulating. It harkens to the teen/youth years when a series of snow days or  the first week of summer vacation allow you to stay up as late as you want, sleep in or wear pajamas all day if you want, with nowhere to go, nothing to do.  Eventually, even this pleasure and lack of routine becomes a drag, with boredom or restlessness setting in.  Becky Kueker wrote Hiding in My Pajamas, addressing this challenge retirees face, particularly in the first two years after leaving their job, uniform and work-face behind.

There is an inherent lack of structure in you days, post-career, unless you proactively create it. The wonderful thing about this is that you are the architect and can design your days, months, and years to best fit your own needs and personal make-up of rewards you seek. Are they social? Financial? Contribution? Status? An honest self-inventory and projection of what you want out of life is useful in applying a framework to the use of your time in retirement.

It isn’t the immediate time after retirement (the “honeymoon”) but the 20-30 years that requires some thought. My neighbors and parents, who retired at different stages of life have demonstrated what works for each of them in their current situation, 10-20 years post-work. One couple takes classes regularly at the OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute), relating to the travel they aspire to and do. They also connect routinely, as a couple and individually, with friends for lunch, dinner and other activities. My parents and other neighbors regularly volunteer at their favorite organizations and have that as scheduled events on their calendar, committing to a specific time and place. All six of these retirees incorporate exercise into their schedules, daily, be it a class or a walk.

To find the rhythm of your days is a real gift, but in retirement it is essential to a happy and fruitful existence. The structure of your daily life should suit you and meet your personal needs, everyday but especially post-career.

” How you order your days is how you live your life.”- Louise Hay

If you want input in how to create your daily structure in retirement, contact me at mary@flyingforwardinretirement.com

I recently revisited an article in the NYT (“Practicing for Better Old Age”, Gerald Marzorati, May 1, 2016, New York Times) which addressed how we can optimize our aging experience. Marzorati says that the research shows that in order to keep all the telomeres growing and brain cells replenishing, it is better in old(er) age to continually work on improving; a skill, a physical challenge, a passion or a habit. But it’s not just the DNA or muscle memories that are worked, it’s also the mind, heart and soul (my word) that faces the next chapter with some optimism and determination to keep getting better at something.

The gist of his article relates to his pursuit of being a better tennis player. Marzorati talks about engaging a coach to find the best and most effective swing. He surrounds himself with other players who, like him, love the game and strive to execute nuanced techniques which will have the most impact on their game. This is exactly what the successful transition is composed of: identification of a passion, activity or goal that brings some meaning or purpose to it’s pursuit, then thoughtful application and seeking improvements to offer challenge, concentration and measurement of small gains in that goal.

Of course before the transition to post-career life there may be little time, energy or space to discover just what it is that will fill this great role in the future. If there is a desire to make a smooth and somewhat fruitful passage, then it is critical to start thinking about this well before the actual time of change. How can you discover what might be the right formula? Start thinking about any activities or avocations you’ve done in the past where time seemed to fly by unnoticed. Or if that activity ended, you were disappointed to leave it behind. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a leisure activity but that is where many can leave the preoccupations of daily life behind, at least while they’re doing it.

For some, it may be the ultimate application of problem-solving skills, to a business or non-profit situation that you’ve longed to address. The inventory, Life Options Profile, may indicate an area where this passion and energy can be directed in the future so that you are always improving.

But mostly, it taking the time to do your own personal inventory–what do I want to do, be, improve at to be a life-long learner, fully engaged in the next chapter? If you’d like more information on how to discover and create a vision of your best life in retirement or if you’d like more details about the Life Options Profile, contact me at mary@flyingforwardinretirement.com.

One of the most common sentiments I’ve heard expressed by imminent retirees is that they are scared, one man even told me he was “scared to death” about what lies ahead in retirement. This kind of fear, ranging from apathy to paralysis, is the classic one we’ve all faced at some point in our earlier lives– fear of the unknown. It might be just the impact of life’s variables that are out of our control–genetics, world economy, or even the amount of money versus time we have left model that people have been worrying about for the last decade or so. Or it may very well be fear of a repeat of someone else’s mistakes or unfortunate path that doesn’t seem avoidable, like moving to where the kids are (or aren’t) and being unhappy. But most of the apprehension I’ve seen candidly expressed is the inability to see or imagine what daily life in retirement will look like. On a positive note, boomers who have had high functioning roles in their careers will often know exactly what they don’t want in the next chapter, and that knowledge is extremely useful in designing a plan in general terms. But the vision stops right there and apprehension can inhibit a useful exercise in addressing this before you retire.

I like to say the first step is the best step– accepting that retirement is coming and there will be change ahead. Even with the sense of loss or grief of leaving a career and, frequently, a fully formed identity behind, the healthiest approach is to accept the change and if possible, fully embrace it. Nothing makes me sadder to hear when asking someone how they are finding retirement, and they answer, “I hate it!” Life is short, and way too short not to appreciate, and if possible to find some enjoyment in what the new life holds. For folks who have been directive or in charge in their career lives, acceptance also brings a measure of control– over choices, decisions, options, and even daily life structure.  Finally, acceptance of life change can also bring anticipation of opportunities and realizations of dreams long-held or newly discovered. This proactive approach to managing the retirement transition can be extremely gratifying, and a motivation to spend some time understanding and articulating your goals for the future.

But in the process of overcoming apprehension about retirement and accepting the changes a transition will bring, maybe the most important piece of this journey will be the discovery or re-discovery of your authentic self. Authenticity was all the rage about ten years ago, and some gave it a new age connotation, for good or ill. But when you boil down to what purpose or meaning that brings you vitality, energy, and a life passion, it is essential that it reflects your true, authentic self. This identity piece, always relevant throughout your entire life, is the main ingredient for mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Unfortunately our social networks or even our careers may not have embraced (or might have inhibited) who we truly are. But as retirement nears, the best and most life-giving thing you can do is to embrace and be your real self, warts and all. There are self-directed ways to recapture that person you are, through books, reflection, or even revisiting significant life events where you felt truly yourself. A retirement coach can go even further in offering perspective and feedback to what your answers hold in specific questions about identity and authenticity. The time to pursue this self-study is before you retire, and surprisingly the impact will boost your acceptance of change and diminish your apprehension of what lies ahead.

I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings of how you view your retirement transition. Feel free to email me at mary@flyingforwardinretirement.com.

One of the biggest pitfalls on the path to a retirement transition is to aspire to “see and do” it as other people have. I am all for mentors in retirement– those whose transition models a positive and fruitful life that we would all love to have. However, as the kids say, “you Do you (or you Be you)”! Fashioning a retirement path, with activities or acquisitions that seem like a beautiful thing, may not be wonderful for you, or you and your partner in life. Also, what others think you should do, be and have in the next chapter has no foundation for what will be satisfying and fill you up. Even the closest person to you, be it family, friend or partner, cannot tell you what you should do as you start moving forward in retirement.

So, how can you pick a lifestyle, an activity or just a plan that reflects who you really are? You have to truly know yourself. That may sound cliched and very ’70s but actually after a long working life identity, some people have lost touch with their actual qualities and characteristics that are authentic to their real nature. A person who may have been an introvert but was required as CEO to be a leader and spokesperson, has adapted his or her tendency to the needs of the job. Or a solo business owner, who has worked independently and without others in her/his space, may have craved a more lively environment, filled with connection and conversation. In this new chapter, post-career, it is essential to use the transition as an opportunity to be more of the real you. If there is hesitation or apprehension of learning how you may have changed or maybe just deferred your personality to the demands of your work role, this is natural.

Many of the baby boomers facing retirement have taken a personality inventory, like the Myers Briggs (MBTI), at some point in their life. In this assessment, the tendencies of personality are rated as either/or– either introverted or extroverted, thinking or feeling, judging or perceiving, and sensing or intuitive. This information, while insightful, is a subjective measure based on your responses when you took the test! It could be that as a young adult starting a new career the results might reflect someone completely different from a seasoned person at the end of a work life. There are other measures available, to describe your tendency in terms of outer and inner expectations. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Four Tendencies, describes the characteristics as Upholder, Obliger, Questioner and Rebel, and explains the basis for motivations met and needs fulfilled in each type. (You can take her short quiz at gretchenrubin.com)

Other personality assessments are more commonly available, with books or internet literature to research where you fall at this phase of your life. As a retirement coach, I can offer two retirement readiness inventories, to help you access this information and apply it to your path forward. Any of this information can be accessed and explored, prior to retirement to begin the process of discovering the real you, and what activities or choices in retirement will have a better chance of creating fulfillment and a sense of purpose. I highly recommend that when you begin the process of learning more, researching or taking inventories, you do these in a positive frame of mind, and have some sense of hope regarding your future. This will help you capture a more realistic result and assist you in knowing yourself, at this stage, better.

If you want to go further in knowing yourself better as you prepare for life in retirement, I can help! Call or email me about retirement coaching and how to make this transition the best it can be for the real  you!

It’s been said that the clothes make the man, or woman, and for many folks in their working career, it was true. Another piece of advice given was, “Dress for the job you want to have, not the one you’re in!”  In some ways, during the working years, a woman would hit upon the right combination of dress– clothes that gave a powerful impression of position, status, role, but were also functional and mostly comfortable. OK, maybe not the long-abandoned panty hose nor some of the towering heels worn. But for most women over the course of a career outside the home, they hit upon a uniform of sorts–clothes the could put together without using excess brain cells or time needed for other areas of life.

So what happens on the first day of the rest of their lives, when there are no meetings scheduled, or interviews to be held or had? For women in retirement their key objective now is comfort and if they can achieve comfortable style, that’s a bonus! Cue the yoga pants craze that has taken over just about every facet of a woman’s wardrobe–travel, workout, and even disguised sometimes as work pants or slacks. The inherent design of the yoga pants, usually black and with spandex and a supporting waistband (to prevent rolling when you’re doing a down dog!) feel like the most comfortable jeans you’ve ever worn, albeit ten times lighter in material. In some more casual offices, especially in creative fields, yoga pants are the uniform of choice.

I know some will say, “Yes, but they are EXPENSIVE yoga pants, with double reinforced seams and a boot cut flare at the bottoms…..And I don’t wear flip flops or sneakers, but REALLY NICE  canvas shoes!” The point is that there is a difference getting dressed for life and not getting dressed for a day of hiking, exercise or even house maintenance. I have found that my time, energy, and frankly, productivity, have a completely different tenor when I don’t put on “real clothes”. There is a whole lot of puttering around in casual wear, as that occurs, time just seems to slip by, with an entire day gone and me saying, “What did I do today??”

I think some men who had to wear a tie everyday in their working life will find the same concept to be true, once they retire and the tie comes off! Of course, that’s the point and a joyfully anticipated threshold which some men have been working towards their entire life. But with routines and uniforms comes rhythms of life, and the new rhythm in retirement needs a thoughtful approach to curating your look. Some men grow their beard and/or mustache, and I’ve known some male pilots who once retired, came to a reunion proudly displaying their ponytail– a real symbol of the FREEDOM  that non-working life affords.

But as much as I vote for comfort and casual wear, I know that I move differently and without much direction or self-discipline in my yoga pants. It may not be yoga or sweat pants, it could be your pajamas, but whatever you put on after years of your “uniform”, think of how it will impact the pace and tenor of your days. Some retirees have a rule that they need to be exercised, dressed and out the door by 10am or 11am everyday. Others may work on projects at home or in the garage, but if so, choose a specific type of casual wear to work in. This topic of clothes choice may seem quite trite when there are many other issues facing retirees, like finding meaning and purpose in the next chapter. But as in the career life, dressing for your successful retirement just takes a little thought and effort, and once done, you’re on your way FORWARD!

When I was a brand new 2 Lt in the Air Force at my very first assignment in Abilene, Texas, a representative of my insurance company knocked on my door to offer me a brand new investment product– and IRA! First, I wasn’t making much money and was loathe to part with any of it! And second, I was wary of any salesperson knocking on the door, selling an intangible product. Finally, my ultimate response, as a 23 year old just embarking on my career was, “Who’s retiring? I’LL NEVER RETIRE!”

Besides the vision problem of imagining needing money in retirement, I had NO imagination of ever retiring from a career or not working. As I got older, I didn’t think of retirement, from a life perspective, although it was a lot harder to ignore the requirements of financial preparation. Then I crossed the threshold around 55 years old. At the height of my career and earnings ability, I decided to stop thinking of retirement, or even throw a passing nod to my friends who were on the brink of their final career years. Yes, denial can be a real place to find refuge from uncomfortable realities! In my business, (airline piloting), there is a mandatory retirement age and on your 65th birthday, regardless of health, passion, expertise, or desire to stay, you are done. This kind of arbitrary retirement point, like downsizing or an illness/injury ending a career, can be to some sheer psychological agony, especially if there is no plan in place to fill the needs that work provides for many–status, camaraderie (social), sense of purpose, time management, and of course, financial. The antidote to suffering the painful loss of any of these needs is to create a VISION of what your days, post-career, will look like.

Many people actively participate in planning for their financial security in retirement: there are seminars on Social Security and how to get your buckets of money lined up with the greatest tax advantage. But as important as that piece is, it is the other needs which need to be addressed, and done well in advance of the actual transition date– perhaps 3-7 years out. To create this vision there needs to be time and space for self-inquiry, such as:  Who am I? (IDENTITY), What is important to me? (VALUES), What do I want to spend my time on in retirement? (PURPOSE), and most importantly, With Whom?(RELATIONSHIPS).

Once there is a line on what you want your retirement to entail, the next step is to craft the methods on how to achieve that vision.  Discussions with your significant other or close friend may reveal some strategies to work on as you are able, to develop the new muscles or pathways in the future life you desire. Using a retirement coach is also a great tool to get specific and targeted action points to discover what path will work well to lead to your ultimate goals and dreams. Whatever method you choose, don’t wait until 6 months before the actual date of retirement, as that time, with all it’s change and finality, can be a difficult time to creatively search for the vision of your next chapter. Just think of it– someday I AM GOING TO RETIRE! What terrific potential for a new beginning!

My mom, a woman who was just at the leading edge of (or a little before) the women’s movement, was the daughter of progressive parents. The youngest of five, with her closest sibling 7 years older and her brother a veteran of WWII, MaryLou grew up in a different environment than those of depression-era children. She came into adolescence just as the country was in post-war hopefulness and an optimism that the world was going to be a better place, with rapid advances in technology and economy visibly occurring everyday. Her family had always placed a high value on education, and the learning did not stop with high school and college. MaryLou was told (as I was) that she could do anything she put her mind to, and she believed it. The social structures of the late 1950’s were not in place for women to easily pursue careers in medicine or business, but MaryLou pursued a degree in mathematics and later, a master’s degree in the same, although her initial application of her studies was as a high school teacher.

Between the life of motherhood and teaching, my mom still yearned for more. Her father encouraged her to continue her education studying subjects which interested her and might lead to a relevance in her future life. She studied accounting, dance, and finally, computer languages. This searching- for STIMULATION and GROWTH – led her to her last and longest job in Management Information Science, which was the start of the computer revolution, transforming business and government in the ’70s and ’80s.

My mother passed on the same advice to me, “take a class”, whenever there was a stagnation or even comfortability in my career. I took marketing, dance, and enrolled in a master’s program. The simple act of being a student again seemed to keep me growing and going, outside of my job and home. Learning new skills and taking on new tasks can have an amazing effect on the mind, besides the obvious gleaning of information. It’s the practice of OPENING NEW CHANNELS IN THE MIND, looking at something from a brand new perspective, that not only keeps your brain active, but also helps tremendously with ADAPTABILITY and RESILIENCE.

One of the biggest challenges in the transition to retirement is the response to change. Particularly for people in high-functioning and concrete roles (executives, business owners, doctors, airline pilots), there is a daily adaptation to the fluid business world changes. But when it comes to a large, life-oriented transition, all the business-world practices don’t seem to translate well to a peaceful and calm step into the next chapter of life. What can you do to make it better? Knowing this limitation, you can start opening these channels in your mind, and flexing the change muscle by taking a class. It can be a subject you always wanted to study or something you know absolutely nothing about. It can be physical, like a dance or exercise program, or it can be academically oriented, with books and homework involved. It can  be a continuation of coursework once-explored but left behind for expediency, or it can be a passion that you want to embrace in the next phase, post-career. The key idea is that you START NOW- well before you retire- to till up the brain and get it prepared for the changes to come. You’ll be glad you did!